Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Et Tu, Snooze?


Let's assume, for a moment, I am a naturally lazy person.

OK?

Now imagine I have terrible sleeping habits, mainly due to the fact that I seem to be the only person within a million miles of Earth who has any knowledge about all the things with which my friends have problems.

Basically people call me at two in the morning asking for help.

Today began my first cross training workout. The program I am on for this marathon dictates three days of intense running with two days of cross training, allowing the legs to rest up for the next run.

I decided, as a soldier and someone who wants to look good at the beach, that some weights were in order.

But my alarm clock had other ideas.

About a year ago (give or take) my alarm was unplugged, and I have yet to reprogram the damn thing. I use my cell phone as my alarm, with the Mario Bros. theme as my alarm.

It's worked so far.

But this morning I just could not be motivated from my sweet slumberous bed.

I must have hit the snooze a dozen times.

I finally got up around 8 and decided to get to the gym. This would have been easier if my contacts had decided to fit in my eyes correctly. Instead, they made a fuss and tried to dig their way out the back of my cornea.

After inventing some new swear words (one involves ramming a mountain through the small end of a dolphin's mother--don't ask) I started off to the gym, school ID in hand.

I should add something here: At my school, you have one ID for all the things you need to do, like go to class, the gym, the book store, and the convenience store. Should you lose this ID, you're SOL.

I have about five IDs, all "lost" at some time or another because I have a brain like a target at a shotgun testing facility. I brought one of the deactivated IDs to the gym and spent five minutes discussing how "silly and fun" it was that it had happened with a rather unkempt woman who smelt of burnt ambition.

Finally I started a simple weight workout. This went fine, until I moved on to my cross training. I tried rowing.

Yes, I sat down at a machine and pretending to row a boat. And let me tell you: rowing is damn hard. I nearly blew out my lungs trying to maintain a good pace. I was dying by five minutes and dead by ten.

I moved on to the bikes, because I figured an easier workout done longer is better than a heavy workout never done. I biked at 90 rpm with some medium resistance for a half hour, making sure I dripped sweat all over the place, before finally limping off to go home.

All in all, I feel pretty worked out, so I think I accomplished my goal for today. Tomorrow, a moderate run at a moderate pace.

Bring it on.

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